A little life remembered

It was just a month ago around 7pm when I was at Whole Foods with the Hubs. Our plans were to get a few things and do some Christmas shopping at the local mall. We were talking with a friend whom we happened to meet coincidentally over by the deli counter and my mobile phone rang. It was my orange hair, freckle face OS calling. I was certain he needed help solving an argument between him and his brother or maybe it was just to remind us to pick him up a grocery item. But neither were the reason for his call. His voice was heavy and I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.


"Lilly died."


What did he say? I nearly dropped my phone. I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly and I didn't want to misunderstand. I had just checked her mother's blog that afternoon and although this little baby was medically fragile, there was no evidence that in the span of a few hours, she would be gone.


We aren't related to Lilly in a family sense but this little girl had won our collective hearts. Now I'm standing at Whole Foods struggling to understand this news. Suddenly all the Hubs and I wanted to do was speed through the check out line and return home. Our family needed to be together, the errands could wait. We walked out of Whole Foods stunned, the winter air had a quiet chill as we placed our groceries in the car. I could feel a whole community of people grieving over this profound loss. A tiny hero had passed away.

http://creationsbydawn.net/pi/tutorials/lily.html

So who was Lilly? Lilly was a beloved baby born with Trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome) is a chromosomal disorder. Only 5-10% of children born with T18 live to see their first birthday. Lilly, aka Miss Firecracker because she was born July 4th, belied the medical community. Although T18 is commonly known as being incompatible with life, Lilly wanted nothing to do with that nonsense. For 17 months, Miss Firecracker bore witness to the fact that every life is significant.

The first time I would meet this precious child and her mother (I already know Lilly's dad) was at the funeral home. Our entire family, including our OS who was home from West Point, loaded in the SUV to pay our respects. I wasn't the only one crying as we walked through the line and I will not tell you which OS also had tears in his eyes. Dressed in a vintage christening gown with her favorite stuffed toy caterpillar near her side, Lilly looked like a tiny doll. It was necessary to share our condolences with Lilly's family. The line grew long as many waited to speak to her parents and offer sympathies and appreciation for loving her so well. Even though it was very emotional, the Hubs, Nate, Aaron, Ike and I had to meet this little girl who had inspired us with her fighting spirit. Lilly gave testimony to a life well lived.

Here is a great resource for expectant parents
who have been told their pre-born child may not survive.

As we reflected on the year 2011 and marked the many experiences we have shared as a family, Lilly's life and her departure to heaven found its way into the threads of our significant moments. I am pleased to say that Lilly's life mattered to many. Her extraordinary family remains in our prayers and continues to inspire. 


Read more about Lilly and her legacy at Pray4Lilly. You will be blessed.  Who has recently inspired you? I'd love to hear, please share. 

And it makes me wonder...

It's true, mothering has allowed me 
to blossom as a woman.

I hesitated for a moment when my orange hair, freckle face OS asked me a question during dinner last night.


"Is it ever boring just staying home all day and being a mom?"


No sooner had the words parted from those teenage ruby lips when he profusely apologized for his frankness. Truly Ike has said nastier things to me without a hint of remorse (and been punished for it, thank you very much!) but it was obvious he didn't want to hurt my feelings. 


I think it's an honest question. But what is the correct answer? Here's what I said.


"Sometimes it is boring but that's usually because I'm not doing the things I need to be doing."


It was seven and a half years before traded in my ambitious career goals and embraced the job that had been waiting for me - full-time motherhood.

The day I learned that we were going to be parents! 
Notice the EPT (Early Pregnancy Test) box 
the Hubs is holding! 

So resolute was I to stay in the business world, that upon learning that I was pregnant with my oldest OS, I ordered a TWO YEAR subscription to Working Mother magazine. I remember simultaneously nursing Nate and attempting to have a contract negotiation on the phone only ten days after his birth. But no one was going to change my opinion...not my husband, not my mom, not even my baby.


It took two more children before I figured out that the Lord had divinely appointed me to be a stay-at-home parent. I can be a bit stubborn but I was relentlessly targeted. The voice in my heart told me repeatedly that I was "perfect for the job" even if I couldn't see my qualifications. My Heavenly Father was changing me from the inside out...

Three dudes in suits

I sincerely wrestled about what to do with my life. It wasn't an easy decision as I recall sitting on our eggplant colored couch with the Hubs in the winter of 1998. Bless that man as he listened and encouraged me. I questioned, what if full-time motherhood was boring? What if I hated staying home with the guys? What if I was lonely? What if my brain turned to mush? The Hubs reassured me that it was going to be ok. And he was right. 

Now 13 years later, my youngest OS was lovingly challenging me to take stock at how it's been going for me...this whole stay-at-home mom gig.

When this kid gives this mom flowers "just because"
you have to feel good about yourself! ;)

Although my boys are older, my role as their mom is still important. To have a 21 year old son who while home from West Point brings me a bouquet of flowers "just because" is evidence that I made the right decision. To be appreciated for a pantry filled with food, much of it I prepared, affirms my position in the household. When the world laments for me because I'm a mom of three sons, two of them teenage boys, I scoff at their pettiness for I am among the most blessed. 

Three legos and a football champ!

Yes, my sweet orange hair, freckle face OS, sometimes being a mother has lackluster moments but that happens with any job as you will one day discover. Jesus gave me this exalted opportunity to raise three men of honor and faith and I will forever give him praise. 

Oh and one more thing, I hope I haven't offended anyone,
this is my personal story of transformation
and I realize other people have different mothering journeys. 

PS. I'd love to hear from you. What interesting questions have your children have posed and how you have answered them? 

Treats for the Troops

I'm often amused when my extended family extols my baking abilities. Aside from the epic fail of kale cake (which will go down in infamy as the most horrible dessert any human has ever created), my mother lavishes praises on my desserts.  My typical response to her exclamations is to casually tell her that the reason I bake so well is this...I'm literate. I can read a recipe, it's really that simple.


See below for detailed pics of my family's reaction to the kale cake!

Disclaimer: These pictures are not
representative of my baking abilities, I assure you. 

Considering how I was loathe to all things domestic prior to my spiritual conversion to Christianity, it is quite wonderful that I enjoy spending time in the kitchen. It is not drudgery or "beneath" me as I thought previously. My heart is stirred into my sugary creations, especially if the treats are going to someone I care about.

Yummers!

Which is why it is a special privilege for me to be involved in West Point Moms Bake. Each month a group of over 130 West Point moms ship baked goods to deployed servicemen and servicewomen overseas. The excitement is contagious as my fellow WP moms (thanks to a private facebook group designed just for us) detail the thoughtful items and care they put into crafting each package. About ten of us moms are given the name and address of one of our heroes and we send a "boodle box" to that Soldier. This means that several packages of home baked treats arrive around the same time allowing these men and women to share the goodies with their unit. Many times my West Point mama friends humble me with their creativity and effort. Despite having busy lives of their own, the ladies of West Point Moms Bake still find time to bake delicious treats AND include other conveniences of home to their assigned Soldier. 

Nate at West Point during our
mother/son weekend last year.  

I don't want to think about this but soon the day will arrive when my oldest OS is on that list. Upon his graduation from West Point and subsequent training, I must accept that my boy will probably be deployed. Knowing Nate, with his sweet tooth and tender heart, it will mean so much to him to think that others appreciate his service to our country. He will enjoy getting boodle from us but to get treats from others who don't even know him personally will surely encourage him along the way.


In a recent package to my assigned hero, I made tasty and healthy treats for him and included a picture of our family. The Hubs, the middle OS and the orange hair, freckle face OS wrote him individual notes and it was OUR privilege to reach out and offer our support. 

Frequently members of West Point Moms Bake will hear back from their Soldiers. They are so appreciative and thankful. We love to share pictures and stories with each other and hear how our packages have lifted spirits. To date, over 500 packages have been sent since September! 


If you know of a deployed Soldier and like this idea, please leave me a message and we'll put that person on our list. If you include a comment on my blog or would rather email me at sewprettyaprons@gmail.com, I'll forward your information to my contact person and we'll make it happen. One more thing, don't worry, I promise I won't send kale cake! :)

3, 2, 1 = the day I wished I was a statistician

Over Christmas break, I asked the middle OS to run to the store to get me some canned tomatoes. By the time Aaron came home, he had accumulated MUCH more than 32 ounces of canned tomatoes. Read on for details...

Not just a pretty face! 

We live close to several grocery stores and therefore I assumed Aaron would perform this task lickety-split. My middle bairn has a good track record as my errand boy. If I may brag a moment, Aaron will be a fine husband one day. He not only puts the toilet seat down after using it, this guy can find common food staples and less traditional food items such as hoisin sauce and kefir in several nationally known grocery chains!


However, this recent grocery trip was taking longer than expected and I wondered to myself, "Where is Aaron? Where did he go? I need my canned tomatoes!"


And that's when the phone rang. 
Aaron: "Hey, Mom."
Me: "Hey...where are you?"
Aaron: "Um, I just got a ticket."
Me: "WHAT? What were YOU doing and where are my canned tomatoes?!!!"


The middle OS proceeded to explain where and how he got a speeding ticket. The simple trip to the grocery store had morphed into a jaunt to the used bookstore which somehow led to a pricey speeding fine.


Upon Aaron's return, the cheerful mood in our otherwise festive home had soured. The Hubs was miffed, Aaron was embarrassed and I was annoyed that I had waited so long for my canned tomatoes.


But it gets better (or worse depending on your perspective)...

"I may be a ginger but I can apparently
read road signs better than my West Point brother!"

We then asked our oldest OS to drop the orange hair, freckle face OS off at basketball practice. He agreed and scuttled his brother into the car. He was gone for no more than 10 minutes-


And that's when the phone rang.
Nate: "Hey."
Me: "Hey...what's up?"

Nate: "I just got a ticket."

Me: "WHAT? What were YOU doing and where is Isaac?!!!"

The oldest OS then proceeded to explain where and how he got an even heftier speeding ticket. The simple trip to school had morphed into a second W-H encounter with law enforcement. Despite the verbal warnings of the younger brother, Nate had overlooked obvious road signs and in the span of less than one hour, two of our three OS had about $600 in associated ticket costs.

Three oliveshoots, two speeding tickets,
one day = let's try to not repeat that, guys!

I've never heard of such a thing! What are the chances of having three oliveshoots who drive (Ike has his learner's permit) and two of them getting speeding tickets on the same day in less than an hour? I'm no statistician but I'd say it's highly unlikely.

The OS are handling these issues responsibly and financially independently. They are reaping the consequences of their actions and although I do not find it amusing that they did something wrong, I do think it's funny in a quirky sort of way. According to my calculations, for the price of two speeding tickets, these two guys could have bought me over 400 cans of canned tomatoes!

We embrace our weirdness!

I'd love to hear about your unusual holiday experiences too. 

PS. Here are a few links of our other unusual grocery store encounters (one involving an innocent assault with salt!) if you're interested. 

A scrappy game of Scrabble

I am not known for my athletic prowess. Chances are really good that you can out-run, out-lift, out-skate, out-swim, and out-do me in most physical things. Your muscles are bigger, your stride is longer, your endurance is better. You win. 


However, the one thing I am known for, at least in my kin, is my mad Scrabble skills. I can hold my own when it comes to this word-smithing merriment. 

Someone is preparing for the beat-down

Upon each visit home, my oldest OS challenges me to a game of Scrabble. Days prior to the battle, the insults and affronts begin; nothing is too low brow between mother and son. Similar to Army/Navy football, this game is personal. It's the West Point cadet with a high class ranking (Nate) versus the strong B average Communication and French major from Carroll University (um, that's me). We engage in our regular risibility while trash talking and one emerges with bragging rights until the next battle.


With great tinges of melancholy, this morning my OS and I sat in the living room and we marked the end of Christmas break with a game of Scrabble.

You would ululate too if you had four u's

Highlights of today's game include:
ululating over four U's - YUCK!


bursting into song using my best and loudest Ethel Merman impersonation of an Ella Fitzgerald classic when Nate made the word MISTY


and caving into moments of deep motherly feelings by confessing to my boy mid-play, "Nate, I love you."

Yes, I will never tire of his response of sincere mutual affection even if it meant I lost every time (and I didn't), btw. I would always play this game even if he pummeled me (and he didn't) just to spend time with a child I cherish. I love words but I love my boy more and that's saying something. 

Ladies and gentlemen,
the one, the only Miss Ethel Merman...

Our game board goodness

Oh yes, I am a lachrymose mama right now. My favorite Scrabble buddy is going back to WP where he belongs. :( His bags are packed, the game is in the drawer. Tomorrow when the house is empty and all of my OS venture into the places they belong, I will busy myself. My athletic prowess is sorely lacking, the house and the Hubs need attention. It will be ok, I know, I guess, I hope.


Thanks Nate for giving your scrawny mom a scrupulous time. Miss you already <3 

This mama returns to writing

It's been a while since I last posted on this blog. Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! With that in mind, I thought I'd reconnect by answering some not really frequently asked questions:


Where have you been? I've been sewing. From October to December, I made and sold over 50 fabric bowls and over 100 little Scripture pillows.

A fabric bowl that I especially enjoyed making

Thread and material strewn all over the house. As I found myself dressed in clothing (as is the social norm in this suburban town when one goes out in public), I found hundreds of mismatched thread fibers attached to my pants and sweaters. My mother cautiously remarked one day while visiting my home, it looked like the Fabric Fairy had stopped by and thrown up everywhere! From morning till night I was a human sewing MACHINE. 

                             

                          Believe it or not, this was our version of clean for about two months

How is Nate? My oldest OS is recovering marvelously. So well in fact that when he was home from West Point during Thanksgiving, we made a trip to the local airport. We had to pick up the middle OS who was returning from a mission trip to Costa Rica. Nate and I were behind schedule and started to run in the airport. It was then that I noticed he was moving awkwardly. For a second, I thought to myself, "Why is he limping?" and then I remembered, oh yeah, he had SURGERY!


What is the cumulative weight of the average W-H? Well, that's kind of a personal question but, um, ok, since you asked, the garden variety W-H tips the scales at 147 pounds. Some of us want that number to increase, others (who shall remain nameless), are not happy...


Did your family make an annual Christmas ornament video? YES! The timeless tradition continues. Each year the Hubs and I hide the pickle ornament somewhere in our large Christmas tree and then the three OS battle to be the first to find it! Here's the video for your viewing pleasure. Let me know if you can guess who was the vanquisher and who hung his head in shame for the second year in a row. 


Maintaining a blog is difficult but I assert that it serves a purpose in my life, if only to allow me to scribe about life as a blessed, albeit imperfect wife, mother and follower of Christ. 

If you bothered to stop by after all these months, bless you, sweet reader...


more soon!

One foot forward - update on Nate and then some

Fashion footwear for fall? 

There's nothing more annoying than someone stealing your spotlight. Not to be outdone, my tibia decided it was sick and tired of Nate's ACL getting all the attention. So yesterday my left leg became encapsulated in an orthopedic boot for the next three weeks and I'm only to walk a total of one-two hours A DAY. That'll teach Nate and his so-called ACL repair...OY!


Seriously though, my oldest OS is doing so well. The Hubs went to visit him during a business trip and they bravely went to New York City. It's scary enough walking around the Big Apple as an able-bodied person but as you will soon see in this video clip, my OS took on NYC like a BOSS. 

I love how the lady by the curb doesn't even step aside as Nate comes barreling through. Nice. Thank you Mobilegs for making such a great product, your crutches have made such a difference in my son's recovery.

That awkward Cinderella moment
between brothers - the shoe fits!

When Aaron and I were at West Point, I observed brotherly love in a fresh way. Five years ago, almost to the day, Nate had his first ACL surgery. Aaron and Ike attended to Nate in the manner fitting of a then 12 and 10 year old. One of the post-surgery highlights was when the two guys competed each day to see which brother could collect the most wee-wee from the urinal. Such a proud mommy moment.


Thankfully everyone has matured. My orange haired, freckle face almost 15 year old stayed behind for driver's ed but loaded up a box of treats for Nate replete with a funny card. He spoke to him regularly and showed sincere concern.

Just moments before saying goodbye

It was my middle OS that displayed such a servant's heart, I found myself nearly thankful for Nate's injury. When Nate's surgery was scheduled first thing in the morning, Aaron cheerfully awakened to join me at the hospital. Anything Nate needed, Aaron offered to help. Anything I needed, Aaron was equally joyful to do. Fill Nate's ice machine, get him fresh water, fluff his pillows, Aaron literally poured himself out to his brother and he was remarkably patient with me. My boy sacrificed his own Fall break to help Nate and then only three days after getting home from New York, Aaron was the patient. He had wisdom teeth surgery!

Final pics of Aaron's wisdom teeth

It's not the best quality picture but I captured a tender moment when it was time to say goodbye. Of course, the lacrimal glands were activated as I hugged my boy's neck. We had had such a treasured time together. There was another WP mom picking up her son by Grant turn-around and she wiped tears from her eyes at the sight. 

Aaron carrying his big brother's laundry and
stuff as Nate crutches back to life at West Point.
Yes, I was crying.  

But then I really lost it as Aaron accompanied Nate to the barracks. Nate was limping along on his Mobilegs as Aaron carried Nate's stuff back to his room. Two beautiful, godly young men and brothers displaying love and gratitude. They are there for each other. They share joy and sorrow, struggles and success. Neither distance, nor disability of any kind or length, nor differences will separate my three OS from each other. Ever. Let it be so. 

my AWESOME oliveshoots