We are currently experiencing a drought in our part of the country and if I had collected my tears in some type of container, (an incredibly large container), I think I personally could have solved the problem two days ago. Today is a better day although it was quite painful walking into the house and past my son's room.
The last thing I want to be is maudlin so I'm concentrating on good things. I don't even like the the word maudlin, it sounds annoying, therefore I'm trying my best to not be characterized as such.
Instead, I'm going the other extreme by wearing my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt with my West Point Class of 2012 matching canvas bag while driving my mini-van with the Proud Parent of West Point Class of 2012 bumper sticker and reading Absolutely American (an amazing West Point book, highly recommend) and sporting my West Point Class of 2012 baseball cap. My husband has a West Point Parent license plate holder, a West Point Dad Class of 2012 t-shirt, a West Point golf shirt, an Army baseball cap and a Proud Parent to be a West Point Cadet's Parent bumper sticker along with an Army lapel pin. Can you notice a theme here? Does it seem just a little over the top? Who cares!
In some way, it connects me/us with my/our son. I might wash my West Point Mom shirt in a couple of days if it starts to stink but I will stay in the laundry room and put it on as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Do you think I'm kidding!? I'm not!
This picture is of me and the two OS while still at West Point...featuring four items of USMA gear along with the jade necklace my friend whose husband is serving in Korea.
Despite hundreds of miles that separate us, I am tethered to my child by these small efforts. Since I like to sew, earlier this spring, I made Isaac a pair of camo-boxer shorts and a camo-pillow case. My nephew Josiah now has a camo-bib. I sewed a camo-apron which I love. Suddenly my favorite colors are either red, white and blue or black, grey and gold. I can't be there with him while he is learning "knowledge" or doing push-ups or making his bed with incredible speed and execution so in spirit, this is my mama's way of showing support.
He doesn't know it but I do and it makes me feel better = less tears. I cried so much on Monday that I had salt deposits under my eyes. My two OS said, "Mom you have this white stuff under your eyes." I went to the restroom at West Point and it wasn't Kleenex, it wasn't makeup, it was dried up tears. Yeah, it was that bad.
While at the Panera Bread line today, while I was wearing my West Point Mom Class of 2012 t-shirt, a man approached me and said that he used to attend the Sunday night concerts up there by the tip of the Hudson River. I saw that place just a few days ago and it brought me a measure of joy. I felt connected and held back my floodgates.
During this time of transition though I have to share this with you. I haven't been able to collect my tears and find a useful purpose for them but someone has. It is God. Scripture says in Psalm 56:8 "You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book?"
I can't tell you how many times I have clung to that truth. If you know people who are hurting, sad or lonely, share that timeless message with them. God is recording their tears in His bottle, on His scroll. They matter to Him. And if you see me, for goodness sake, please compliment me on my new USMA fashions, it will help this mama of a soldier!
Go Army, Beat Navy!
Check out how things are going as we now await "the phone call" and a silly way we included our NC into a little family fun!
Btw, I love all your comments and stories and want to put them in a future post. They are inspiring even to non-military folks! Keep 'em coming!