Thursday, August 14, 2008

Foot Claustrophobia and Anxiety

It's been over three decades since I have had a cast. As a young girl I broke my arm while trying to tie my shoes on a bike. If that doesn't make any sense, I totally understand. I'm still confused about how it happened "back in the day." 

But today I got the second cast in my lifetime. As an adult, having a limb encased in fiberglass is awkward. And for me, it's slightly anxiety producing. My foot feels like I'm wearing a shoe that's too tight. The problem is I can't take the shoe off for at least another five weeks. 

And that produces nervousness inside me. Seriously I'm having to breathe through my nose and try some deep breathing techniques to get over the wave of anxiety which grabs hold of me.

A few nights ago we had family devotions and read Philippians 4:6-7.  As I have contemplated these verses, I am personalizing them. "Do not be anxious about anything (Cindy, that means even when your foot can't move and is sore), but in everything, by prayer and petition, (Lord, help me get through this and give me a proper perspective) with thanksgiving, (thanks Lord for my scooter and my family and friends) present your requests to God. (Father, help me as I travel to and around West Point next week). And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  
   
I confess sometimes Scripture is hard to live out personally.  I have to focus on something beside my circumstance and just know the feelings will subside. If I take this small trial a little bit at a time, I can handle this. 

Here's proof. Today I went to Trader Joe's by myself. Based on the comments and the looks I get, either I am astonishingly beautiful or an oddity. Most people aren't sure what I'm doing, it's only when observing the back of me (not my butt but my foot) that you realize there is a reason I am whizzing around on a scooter. 

Picture this: A 40ish woman with a broken foot in a scooter and a cast pushing a grocery cart. Eight wheels, one foot. It's not that easy pushing a cart full of food while simultaneously moving on a scooter. Making turns was interesting but I did it. Definitely not as graceful as a gazelle but I got the job done. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, including going to the grocery store independently with one good leg.

6 comments:

Delighted said...

My mom would understand perfectly. In 1995 she broke her leg in three places and was in a cast up to her hip for 6 MONTHS! It was a big adjustment not only for her, but our entire family. She was claustrophobic, itchy, and generally going crazy.
But here's the kicker, Cindy... just the week before she had started praying for God to show her PATIENCE!
I'll be thinking of you.
(P.S. I feel like I know you!)

Denise said...

Amen! Yes, you can do ALL things through Christ! I'm so sorry about your foot and think the cast must be a tres grande bummer. I think I'd have to fight the cast anxiety myself.

On a funny note, I can't stop laughing thinking of you and the 8 wheels in Trader Joes. You must have been a (hot) sight!

Anonymous said...

Are you going to West Point to see the new cadets march back from their field training? If so, you're going to love it! I know Nate will be very excited to have you there watching. I remember that day and it was pretty exciting--there were a lot of people watching us or at least it seemed like it.

Paul

Anonymous said...

Thank you for telling your story. I have a fractured foot and a cast to my knee. I started having anxiety attacks and thought people would think I was crazy for letting a little thing like this cast get to me. I also feel like God is working in me and this all has a purpose. It is just hard. I am still working and using a scooter. I am a teacher and my students love it. They think it is fun!

MyAwesomeOliveShoots said...

Dear Anonymous,

I'm so glad I wrote this post too! It's funny how many people have googled foot or cast anxiety and found my blog! I think my doctor thought I was crazy when I mentioned it to him but I truly had to have a lot of little conversations with myself to keep me from going nuts! I know the Lord used that cast to teach me things and I really pray I got all the lessons necessary so I don't have to do it again. All the best to you, thanks for writing!

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