Homage to our friend, the stomach

I could blog about the weird dream I had this morning involving me in college where I lived in a dorm building and there was this elevator and for some reason, never explained in a dream sequence, a glass roof was installed in the dormitory building at my college which was poorly constructed with a one-inch gap between the elevator and my dorm room floor and then, out of nowhere, my stepfather magically appears. In the dream, my dorm room was on the top floor and therefore I could see lightning strikes and I wasn't sure if I could deal with those living conditions. As someone who is afraid of heights, I spent most of the dream terrified about how to negotiate the one-inch gap between the safety of the elevator and the security of the floor and I'm still thinking about it! I awakened this morning scared and in need of a hug which my husband gladly supplied. What the heck did any of that mean? No clue!

OR I could blog about how I visited five medical office buildings today and how my mom's wrist is doing better following surgery but now she has pneumonia; how my son has a cold/allergies and that there is a good chance I have a micro-fracture on my stupid tooth and might need a crown. 

But instead I'd rather tell you about the best brochure I've ever seen about an organ in the digestive system, the stomach. 

And I'd like to brag about the creator of this amazing brochure, my youngest OS, Isaac.

In his sixth grade English class, the students had to create a travel brochure for any part of the digestive tract they had recently studied. Among the choices, Ike could select the esophagus, the stomach, the liver, the mouth, the gall bladder, the small intestine, the large intestine and let us not forget, the anus. (I never thought I'd be writing that word on my blog!) Remind me to tell you something about that word in a minute. But my little, orange-haired OS knew instantly what body part he was going to pick = the stomach. I think this might have been his favorite homework assignment ever and he attacked this project with vigor.

This brochure was so good, I think it should be at every internist's office. The headline was:

The Stomach - if you like getting dirty and slimy, come have some fun with us!

You open the tri-fold brochure and inside you see an "illustration" of the stomach. Isaac's teacher thought the diagram was kind of weird because there is no face on the drawing. She said usually you have a face but apparently Ike wanted all eyes on the stomach. I think it worked quite nicely. 

Continue reading the contents of this stomach travel brochure and learn about:

Imports and Exports  - 

Favorite line in this paragraph, "There is only one way into the stomach and two ways out." All-righty then...

Accomodations - You can stay in one of the best hotels ever, it is called the Stomach Hotel. This hotel has big beds, big rooms and lots to chow on. You will not be disappointed, trust me!

Dangers - The stomach does have some dangers. If the stomach has a virus  you are likely to be shot out of the stick-like tube and out the mouth. Also if you eat too much you may be thrown up. 

Why should I come here? - Well, if you have had a long week you can come here and enjoy a nice hot tub and be massaged by the best massagers in the stomach called Peristalsis Massagers.

What happens here? - Lots of things happen here. You can get a massage or go in a nice hydrochloric acid hot tub. The possibilities are endless. (I seriously wanted to book a weekend at the Stomach Hotel!) 

If there was any confusion, Ike was gracious enough to include directions in the stomach:

1. Enter the mouth

2. Go down the esophagus for four seconds

3. Then you enter the wonderful stomach

I was delighted to learn that Isaac got a 98%! Yay! There had been no need to pester or prod Isaac to finish this homework and then to see his creativity in high gear and the resulting high marks made me forget that weird nightmare and the rest of my harried day.

Oh, and the thing about that aforementioned word...ahem. Isaac informed me that he had learned that there are actually two sphincters in the human body in class but he didn't even know the word "sphincter" existed until last year. Ike went bowling with his two older brothers just prior to Nate's high school graduation. My three awesome OS were enjoying special brother time and at the bowling alley, throwing balls down the lane, when suddenly his oldest brother, the West Point-bound son and role model, Nathan, decided to change Isaac's name on the electronic score board to "Anal Sphincter." 

So charming! Let's all give it up for the Amazing Stomach! Woot!