Monday, April 6, 2009

True Confessions - I am not a perfect mom, I don't have a perfect family

It might sound like I'm patting myself on the back or something but I'm not. It's just that this weekend, my DH and I had an epiphany. We re-learned some ancient truths I must seek to remember all the time and I want to share them with you. It's good to feel like I'm in the TMZ (Total Mama Zone). Click here to read about another time I felt like I was in the TMZ

Our family has been very fussy lately and that's putting it politely. It's almost Easter but it seems like we have been walking around on eggshells for a while. Every single one of us seems poised for a battle. Not constantly but consistently, I have been discouraged about the tension and intensity
displayed in my family, maybe with the exception of our oldest OS and his only excuse would be that he's at West Point dealing with his own issues! Just being real here. 

Saturday night we had a family meeting. We gathered around
the dinner table and aired our grievances. I thought I was the only with the legitimate issues but it became apparent that Aaron and Ike had been itching for a chance to get a few things off their adolescent chests too. I don't mean to say they were rude, it's just that they needed to voice some concerns they, too were having with the way our household was being run.

Truly the Lord blessed the time. There was no anger, no bitterness. We engaged in
healthy, respectful conversation. Dare I say, I think we even negotiated a little. And here are some of the things that I realized.

Children like boundaries. Duh. I see kids all the time that have no supervision. Our guys are well-monitored but they still needed more boundaries in some areas of life. 

Children like bedtimes. Even at age 14 and 12. When things are loosey-goosey around here, we fall apart. Isaac even commented, "I want a bedtime!" No eruptions or hissy-fits, things became instantly calmer which shocked and blessed me.  These bedtimes are not rigid so there is some flexibility but in our family, frankly, we all need bedtimes, including the Hubs and me.  

Children like knowing what's expected of them. I will soon blog about two "seminars" I have conducted with my OS which were met with some level of joy. Not oozing, over the top joy but it was surprisingly fun!

Children like security. They like it when Mom and Dad get along and seem to be able to work things out. Mom and Dad get along when Mom thinks the kitchen is clean and things are running efficiently. Dad likes it when there's no yelling. Both attainable goals that give our home a sense of normalcy, even though we pride ourselves on being a little weird.

After the meeting, the DH announced that any good meeting has food. While the boys cleaned the kitchen, he ran out and got our favorite ice cream. Our meeting was a success! 

I leave you today with a verse of Scrip- ture which as usual, has relevance in our daily lives..."Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

Raising a strong family isn't the easiest thing but I'm glad we are putting in the time to try, with God's help, to do it the best way we can.

6 comments:

Meredith said...

This is a beautiful post complete with gorgeous pictures. I love reading about your mothering!

Jenn said...

Thank you for taking the time to share this. And you are so right about the bedtimes!

Hillcrest Cottage said...

That was an awesome post with so much wisdom...not just proclaimed from a pulpit, but lived out in the trenches!
My favorite West Point Cadet motto is: Fail and Continue.
The question is not, "Will I fail?" but more "What will I do WHEN I fail?"

Holliday Family said...

What an encouraging post - thank you, from this first time commenter but long time reader. My 3 children are young still and some days feel like a constant battle but posts like this give me a true hope and optimism. Thanks!

Stacey Brown said...

You never cease to inspire the rest of us! Thanks!!

Holliday Family said...

Thanks for your comment! Just to give you background so you don't think I am a wacko or something. I read Denises' blog (whom I have never met but she graciously allowed me to carry on reading when she went private) and I got to Denises blog through Susie Solo, who is a dear friend of mine!