There's nothing that gets me more in the writing mood than sitting in a doctor's office waiting for a person who's having a colonoscopy! Not sure what about this experience is inspiring me but to hear my fingers tapping away on the keyboard feels good. The chair I'm sitting in is ridiculously uncomfortable so I need something to get my mind off of the 90 minutes I'll be here. I mean, there's only so much tv I can watch and I've read the entire paper. I've checked facebook too many times already, so I thought I'd do something productive.
Since my last post, I have debated whether to write much about what I've been doing. I haven't wanted my blog to be medical or pitiful but I have been struggling with health issues lately. One has been fibromyalgia (a new diagnosis), the other is depression (a recurrent battle). Not sure which one came first but after dealing with ongoing pain and feeling utterly hopeless, I dragged my sad self to the rheumatologist and started crying. I was at the point of terrible despair and when I left her office, I felt like I had a chance at a normal (whatever that is) life. I began some medication, made critical lifestyle changes and those things have helped me tremendously.
During this time, I asked the Hubs to pray for me. I know he has. He has asked others to pray for me and I'm sure he's felt clueless on how to help me. When I wasn't sure how much lower I could go and spent wayyyyyy too much time on the couch, I started to feel afraid that I was going to break my foot again. I felt unstable on my feet and envisioned another injury. I would hang onto a chair railing or the Hubs for fear of falling. Literally, I have found myself leaning on the Hubs. He, along with the Lord, have been my strength. He has made me laugh, supported me in every way, I love him dearly.It's been about three weeks since my doctor appointment and I was overjoyed when recently, I found myself bounding effortlessly up the stairs. Part of "me" has been coming back. I am walking without fear emotionally and physically!
And I have been exercising. I learned that it is absolutely critical for me to stay physically active. My doctor recommended this DVD and I began doing it immediately. Although it is a little cheesy, I have been faithfully using it and noticing the results. If you are looking for an exercise program that is adaptable and encouraging, I think these are great! Exercising in the comfort and privacy of my own home has been a better choice for me than the gym at least for right now.Recently I was talking to my oldest OS and in previous conversations, I shared with him that I had really been struggling. Since he's a young, busy man with his own life, I wasn't sure if he recognized his mama's plight.
But I was wrong.
We were talking on the phone recently and I said, "Nathan, I have something to tell you..." My OS made a dry-witted, West Point tough comment and I interrupted him, "Seriously, Nathan, listen to me. I want you to hear this. I am feeling better." Then I heard words I wasn't expecting.
"That's great, Mom. I've been praying for you." Oh, dear friends, I nearly dropped to the ground with thankfulness. He said something else to me also. "I've had some of my buddies praying for you too."
The only thing sweeter to me than the thought of a group of Soldiers/Cadets praying for me is the image of my precious OS sitting around with his buddies and caring enough to ask for his friends to do so.
About the same time that I had seen the doctor and began implementing changes, my boy was lifting his struggling mama up to the Lord. I'm sure the things I have improved in my health but I also know that God's Word is true.
Matthew 18:19-21 (New International Version)
19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
The colonoscopy is over, things went well. I need to go walk a couple of miles in my bedroom but it feels good to be back and sharing. More later on Nate's television "appearance" and other life events.
3 comments:
You are so much stronger than you know, so much more brave than you'll admit and loved more than you can understand. You keep walkin' baby. We'll keep praying.
Cindy - I don't know if you remember me or not but I posted many moons ago about how I had followed your postings early on as I, too, have a soldier/cadet who entered West Point at the same time your son did. I had found your posts via good 'ole Plebe Net - it was actually suggested there, and I did find comfort in reading your thoughts and wit and wisdom. And, I had wondered what had happened to your postings/blog. I am glad to learn most importantly that you are getting back to you and truly, too, that in getting back to you, you are getting back to us, as sharing your wit and wisdom helps others, too. Blessings for good days and continued writing.
Margie
Hi, Cindy,
My name is Jim. I am a member of West Point Class of 1967. I also entered West Point from Naperville, Illinois.
I have been following your blog since you started it, and really enjoy it. Like others, I missed it while you were ill, and am very glad to see you are back.I will pray that your health continues to improve.
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