|This is for you, dear grandma|
|We like each other...a lot|
|If only I could stay in that moment|
My OS start school on Wednesday. Prior to the phone call about my grandma; days before, in fact, tears flowed thinking about them not being home. Now the impending loss of my grandmother looms near. I wanted to herald this summer as one of incredible memories. Difficulties pervade on where to put this latest news into my epic summer scenery.
Yet despite my heartache, the Hubs and I went to the pool. My spunky, kick-in-the-pants grandma would want this.
So to honor her, I plunged into the water. As I came up for air, tears poured into my swim goggles which was a new experience...The salty pool water matched my salty tears. I had to empty the goggles out several times. The Hubs held me tight as I fell into his arms. I'm pretty sure I was the only person weeping in the water.
As I see it, I have three options:
1. quit = give up (my grandma has always been a spitfire)
2. stagnate = no more progress (my grandma moved forward despite great losses)
3. keep at it = trust in the Lord (my grandma would be proud of me)
A force, greater than myself (which I know to be my Savior), allowed me to do another thing today. Previously, as my orange hair, freckle face OS informed me, I frolicked off the diving board. But with the Hubs' encouragement, I pushed myself off the surface and into the air with greater vigor. And I touched the bottom of the nine foot pool. That was also a first. And then, of course, I cried.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Keep doing your own Hard Things, dear friends, even when it hurts.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.