Monday, August 18, 2008

How to Tell if Your Husband Loves You

This post is for you married ladies. Between us girls, sometimes we wonder if our husbands really care. Can we tawlk? Let me give you a fairly easy litmus test. Trust me, ladies, I've done this and now I know. You deserve to know how he really feels! 

1. Break your foot. Right or left, it doesn't matter. Break it good so that you will need a cast. 
2. Decide that you want your cast to be special, that you want to make a "statement."
3. Think of a snappy motto that you want to display. I have provided a helpful and patriotic example. 
4. Ask your husband/suitor to draw or write this motto on the cast. If he says, "ok," then he has shown you a certain degree of affection.
5. Do not stop there, girls!
6. Decide that your cast is not special enough. Go to a nearby craft store and purchase Aleene's decoupage paste.
7. Give your sweetheart a paintbrush and ask him to decorate your cast on places you yourself cannot reach. If he says, "ok," then he has shown you that he is a keeper, however...
8. Do not stop there, girls!
9. Look at your toenails. You'll notice that your toenails on said broken foot are blah. 
10. Get a bottle of nail polish and with your cutest facial expression, ask your DH if he'll paint your nails.
11. Give him time. By this point, you might notice a slight discomfort in your man. Push past this girls. Allow him a moment. Continue to make the most pitiful face imaginable. Note: you may need to do this up to a full minute but do not give up! If your guy takes the nail polish bottle, albeit reluctantly, congratulations! You know your husband loves you madly!

I have tried other techniques but after nearly 21 years of marriage, I can say that this method is fool-proof! Let me know how it goes or any other suggestions you have. I'm always here to help.




Meredith said...

You're so funny.
Thanks for the comment. I love your new blog design too! I especially love the apron.

beth anne said...

oh my goodness! you guys are stinin' hilarious!! i love it. he really is a sweetie.

beth anne said...

i meant to say, "stinkin'" not "stinin'" ...oops.

Peas on Earth said...

Ahhhhh! Now the "decopaging cast" comment makes much more sense, Scooter!! Your husband is a real trooper, that's for sure! But, you had me convinced of his love for you at Grilled Lemon Chicken and asparagus. :-)

The Browns said...

cute!!! if i ever break a bone i want a cast as cool as yours!

Wendy said...

This CRACKS ME UP! Goodness I love reading your blog! You are one funny girl!

Amanda said...

Darcy told me about your blog just last week. You are a very witty writer with a great husband. Wish our lives overlapped.

Your former MOPS co-coordinator