Aqua Dud = Me

I feel like I'm never going to be able to do it. Today was the most discouraging swimming lesson thus far. My spirit, my body, my hopes sunk.  I feel like an aqua failure. Maybe I'm always going to be the girl out of water, the mom who can't swim. If you know how to swim, celebrate this gift, oh how I envy you. 

While at my swimming lesson tonight, I got a nasty flashback to high school math class. I remember understanding math and being so excited because it all made sense. For a few classes it was like it all seemed to come together and I was optimistic. But then things started to get more complicated and I had trouble keeping up. Little by little I got more and more behind. I didn't flunk the class but never went very far in that subject. Now three decades later, here I was, in the swimming pool at my gym having those same hopeless feelings. Only this time I'm a middle-aged wife and mama in a bathing suit. 

I was trying and trying but just didn't seem to be getting it. My arm was in the wrong place. My ears came out of the water. I kicked too hard. I kicked too softly. I breathed in water and felt a wave of despair waft over me. After repeatedly trying and failing quite terribly, it was my turn again. Coach Doug gave me the go-ahead and basically I froze. I just couldn't do it. And before I could stop myself, I felt tears filling my swimming goggles. Coach Doug must have known something was wrong and he came over and gave me a hug. 

 

Apparently I am a nervous swimmer. It seems implausible for me to slow down my strokes and I'm not going to give up but boy, do I feel like this is never going to work out. One moment I could envision myself this summer in the water, splashing and playing just like all the other people out there. Tonight I feel like I'm doomed to failure. 

As far as I'm concerned, (and I know some of you will disagree with me) well, quite frankly, I think swimming is more difficult than childbirth. I've grunted three children out of my body and although I didn't find the experiences especially enjoyable at the time, somehow I was good and proficient at it. This swimming stuff is proving a great challenge. 

Why Nate is Great - 18 Reasons

18 things I love about my son - he turned 18 over the weekend. 

1. Nicknames. When Nate was a baby, practically from the minute he "popped" out, we called him Shakalanna, Sheiky Sheiky, etc.  He has new nicknames I am not privileged to share but they are just as weird. 

2. Spins and stuff - My son lets me hold his hand when we are walking in the mall. He will spin me around (just once) and let me put my arms around his waist. Not for too long but it sure makes my mama's hear

t sing. I feel like the most special person in the world.

3. Honor - 

I wish I had half the character my son had when I was his age. 

4. I love you - Every night, when his youngest brother has gone to bed, my kids have a ritual. Isaac, my 11 year old OS will shout from the top of his bunk bed, "Night, Nate, love you!" and no matter what Nathan is doing or whom he is talking to, he is sure to shout back, "Night, Ike, love you, too!"

5. Cooking - Nate is not the best cook but he can make a mean salad. He is rather clumsy in the kitchen which is funny because he is so adept at other things. His salad is killer, though.

6. Funny - If Nathan wasn't my son, I'd want him as a friend. He's witty and clever. We rarely run out of things to say. I like how he can make funny accents of people he has met. Like the Chinese lunch lady in middle school who would say, "One cookie, 35 cent." That one comment has provided us with years of laughs. 

7. Guns - Nate's got some sweet guns. He has served as my inspiration for getting back in shape. We compare guns all the time. I'll never catch up to him but that's ok. 

8. Disciplined - He is self-motivated and driven. 

9. Good speaker - Nate is an engaging speaker. He was selected to be one of the students speaking to the entire high school as part of graduation this year. I can't wait to hear him and will be sure to bring Kleenex as I cry tears of joy. 

10. Cards - Nate will make his own birthday cards on the computer for his friends. They are hilarious and so clever. They are slightly weird but beat any Hallmark card you could ever get.

11. Interesting - My 18 year old OS is well-read and intelligent. He can talk easily about current events, politics, religion, faith, music and much more. He is very opionioNATEd. Here is a link to his blog if you want to see what I mean. 

12. The way he treats girls - 

Nate respects girls and has a lot o

f female friends. 

He has done well with respecting the ladies and not leaving a trail of broken hearts along the way. 

13. Sleep - Nathan has an imperfect side though. He has to get sleep. If he doesn't, he's a stinker. 

14. Iron - my son irons. Someone is going to be a very lucky wife one day. 

15. People - Nathan takes pride in  a job well done. He has been mowing lawns for years now and has a very diverse clientele. I love how my OS appreciates different cultures and personalities. 

16. Family - What a blessing to have an 18 year old son who likes his family! We enjoyed a birthday celebration at our house. Mark and I made his favorite dinner - Chinese pork dumplings and he had five close friends join us. He didn't kick us out of the dining room, we all were together. 

17. Not a potty mouth. Yes, there is an 18 year old guy who doesn't drop word bombs and cuss like a sailor. How do I know? I gave birth to him! Woot! 

18. Jesus - My boy has a personal relationship with Jesus. He is not ashamed to tell others about his faith in His Savior. Nathaniel means "gift of God" and we couldn't have picked a more perfect name for our oldest son/olive shoot. 

All moms should be so blessed to have a child like him. Thanks Lord for this treasure!

Eyebrows

My boys are growing their hair for the upcoming high school play. We have about four more weeks to go and so far they look they have mops growing on their heads. We are normally a freshly shorn family and so this is quite a departure, seeing my two oldest OS with a full crop of hair. Aaron has announced he's getting a buzz cut the minute the play is over. It sounds like a very good idea at this point. 

Since I can't cut their hair I want to do something to improve something! So I find myself looking at my boys' eyebrows, in particular my 13 year old's - considering they look like two caterpillars are living on his head, it's not exactly a difficult thing to do.  

Last week I mentioned it might be time to introduce Aaron to the next level of manly hygiene - trimming the eyebrow hairs. He's so stinkin' cute but the eyebrows seem so unkempt.

 

I hinted to Aaron that it was time to try and coax those wily eyebrow hairs to move upwards. 

Do you think he looks like a fruitcake, (as his older brother suggested) with the upward reaching eyebrow hairs?

Or do you think it shows that my middle OS has an attention to detail and a keen sense of masculine pride?

I have since trimmed the eyebrow hairs and it made a big improvement. I'm also praising the Lord we don't have uni-brow! I don't think he could handle the pain. 

Bathing Suit Season

Ask any woman who isn't a runway model and she'll tell you, bathing suit shopping isn't for the faint of heart. I am in the best shape I've been in about eight years and out of necessity, I had to get a new suit. Despite losing over 5.25 inches off my body in the last 10 weeks, it took three days, ten stores and extraordinary spiritual fortitude to find one that wouldn't scar my kids or shame my husband for life! It was nearly an impossible task. Have you seen the swimwear options out there? They need to have gi-normous boxes of Kleenex in the dressing room or have a licensed therapist on the premises.  Wow!

The reason I put myself through such trauma is because, somehow, (I have no idea how), I lost my bathing suit. I wore it to the gym last Saturday and haven't seen it since.  The cause for my urgent need for a bathing suit is that I am now taking swim lessons. For over four decades I've been an aqua chicken but now I'm taking the plunge, so to speak. 

My lesson started in a matter of hours. My mom was visiting and so we dashed over to the shopping center but couldn't find one bathing suit even mildly flattering or comfortable. Each store we entered my delusional yet loving mom would hopefully announce, "I just know we're going to find a suit for you. I just feel it." Puh-lease! It took only seconds in Old Navy, Kohls, Dicks Sporting Goods, and Target to realize that wasn't going to happen. Reluctantly I wore an old bathing suit to the lesson. 

However, yesterday, out of shear necessity, I took my middle OS bathing suit shopping with me. The first store we went to was Everything But Water at the mall. Aaron

recalls it as "the most awkward experience in his entire life." I told him it was Husband Training. We walked into the store and this was the first suit which greeted us. Can you believe it??? 

My guys don't like it when their mom wears a suit with a scooped out navel.  We left dejected.

But today, rejoice friends, I found two suits at Dillards. Beulah, my saleslady was my swimwear angel.  She was encouraging and positive, I felt like I could trust her. I gave her a big hug right after handing her my credit card.  This is a picture of one of the suits I bought. As many of you know, this is NOT me in the photo. 

Then I came home, ripped off that sani-strip (ew!) and went to the pool and practiced the dead man float and putting my chin in the water.  I showed Aaron and Isaac how I could put my head under water and they were mes-mo-rized, (HA!) 

I'm keeping my eyes on my bathing suits in the future. I hope I don't have to go looking again for a really long time.

Oh, one more thing, Miracle Suits are miserable! Don't torture yourself! 

See you at the pool. Look for the hot mama in a sassy suit with the kickboard. It's me. 

Look What I Made!

I did it! I made my first pair of boxer shorts! My DH Mark was the big winner of the blog post where I requested you pick the person and the material. 

I could have gone back and forth to Target eight times and bought boxers considering the amount of time it took to make them but I think it was worth it. I mean, how many husbands do you know that have their own homemade boxers?

It was my first time using the button hole sewer and this was a momentous event. It's called a utility stitch and my Project Runway Brother Sewing Machine with pink trim is da bomb! My husband is going to be the proudest guy at the gym. While all the other guys are wearing dreary undies purchased at a department store, feeling horrible inside like their wives don't really care about their undergarments, my precious husband can stand tall. He'll be strutting all over the locker room walking proudly knowing he's probably the only guy there that's wearing his style of boxers.

If you're interested in making your sweetie some boxers, here is the pattern. 

Moving into Manhood

Today is St. Patrick's Day and we chose to honor the day in a momentous fashion. Aaron shaved for the first time! Our 13 1/2 year old OS has completed another rite of passage into manhood. Ike and I are now the only ones who do not shave our faces and I'm hoping we can keep it that way for a long time. There are absolutely no plans for me to shave my face, btw! WHEW!

My husband gave Aaron a few pointers as he navigated around his face. Side by side in the freshly tidied bathroom, Mark patiently instructed his son. The peach fuzz has been so much fun to see sprouting but it was time for Aaron to become a clean-shaven teen.

 These are the precious moments that so many boys never experience because their dad isn't home or available or interested. Proverbs 22:6 says "train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." A father's influence is important in every way - spiritually, emotionally, physically. I know the Bible isn't talking about shaving but these bonding moments will shape our son's masculinity and hopefully he will pass wisdom and character onto his children one day. This is just one simple way my husband is training his boys. We bought Aaron his very own can of shaving cream and a razor and made a big deal about this special experience. One day Aaron will tire of this task but right now, Aaron declared he's going to shave every day! 

Nate is headed to a short mountain trip with four of his buddies tomorrow morning. They are going by themselves, no parental supervision. Yeah, I'm a little nervous. Ike has a few little pimples on his face and some suspicious emotional outbursts. 

My boys are growing up but I like most of the bittersweet changes.  

You Decide 2008

Hi friends,

I need your advice. I'm going to make some boxer shorts and would value your expert opinions. Let me know the following:

Which material should I use?

A) white swirlies 

B)

orange bunnies

C)

 colorful circles 

D)

 blue squares and rectangles

E) red swirlies and dots

F) yellow bananas

Next, help me decide which person I should make them for. Here are my choices 

Mark (MDH), 

Aaron (13 yr old OS) or

Isaac (11 yr old OS). 

My almost 18 year old Nathan OS is not interested in me making him underwear. I think it would be fun and cost-effective but the whole idea creeps him out. 

The boxers he likes are about $12 a piece, personally I'd rather make them for a whole lot less $$ but he's just not down with that! At least some day I'll be able to make my 2 1/2 year old nephew Jon a pair of Thomas the Tank Engine boxers when he's potty trained, I know he'll be ok with that. 

I will make a pair of boxer shorts and put them on my blog for you to see. I doubt there will be any underwear modeling, sorry to disappoint!

Can't wait to hear from you!