Sorting and savoring

Aaron taking a final bow during his
last drama performance. Yes, I cried.

It's that let-down feeling you have after everything is said and done. Your busy plans are complete, bags are emptied, things are sort of back in place and despite a moment of rest, you are still utterly exhausted and drained. Your company has left and life is back to normal - that is until your husband has meniscus surgery this Wednesday. And looking at you and your sassy pink-haired self, no one would know all that's been going on because you appear to be coping. But the fact is you are struggling and you (in this case me) wrestle with conflicting emotions. Clear as mud, huh? 

Without getting too personal because blogs like that make me uncomfortable, this is how I'm feeling. In some strange way, it seems as if nothing happened because so much happened and it's just too hard to process. It's postpartum depression minus the baby. I scarce can take it all in.

The Class Crest of 2012

Two graduations in nine days in two different states is not for the faint of heart. Of all the stressful things I have done in my life, having those two events so close to each other is wayyyy high up there on the things I wouldn't choose to repeat. Both moments were so significant and emotional, there wasn't time to absorb one without quickly being distracted by the other. As a result, I'm stunned. What did we just do? Where did we just go and come back from (and I don't even care about the questionable grammar)? How much money did we spend? Why am I both full of emotion yet in empty despair? The denouement of Aaron's high school graduation and Nate's graduation from the United States Military Academy needed their own proper time. Kind of like my arthritic right knee, there wasn't and isn't any cushion.

Nate and I after the graduation parade.
I really loved that shining brass buckle. Very shiny. ;)

It sure seems like these cadets don't
realize what a huge day this is for me
and all the rest of the 2012 USMA parents!

After a graduation celebration with some of Nate's friends and their families, the Hubs and I were driving on Bear Mountain Bridge. Our tummies were full of delicious food from Foodies and it was early evening. The United States Military Academy, an outline of the stately concrete structures were off in the distance. The view called out to my mama's heart. Amber lights sparkled from the windows, the Hudson River sat tranquil and tears streamed from my eyes. Tears are currently streaming from my eyes as I type this, thank you very much.
Cadets are still in these rooms, I thought to myself. They are busy doing things, I mused, but strangely, my boy is no longer there. How could that be??? His (and thusly my) 47 month journey had ended just hours before and everyone had seemingly moved on. Nate was ready. I guess I was not. 

The Hubs and I during Ring Weekend
standing in front of Nate's barracks.

As the Hubs kept his eyes on the road, I couldn't help but reach out and grab that little West Point with my fingers. Between my thumb and my pointer finger, I held West Point there as long as I could before we passed it by. I can never grasp what this place has meant to my OS or to me. 

Majestic - Washington Hall 

I can find reasons to return to West Point but none will be for my boy as a plebe, yuk, cow or firstie. The pangs of this reality sting and confuse. He loved that place. He hated it. It was so far away. I loved coming there. What tumult of spirit! No sooner had Nate graduated from USMA, then he bolted from Michie Stadium along with nearly 1000 other newly commissioned officers and finished turning in all their stuff. There wasn't any sentiment in the departure and it reminded me of the 90 second goodbye we had been issued on R-Day, that never to be forgotten day. No built-in cushion there that's for sure. 

My boy, that uniform, what memories

Pride, humility, loss, gain, and so much more jumble inside. I expect to be working through these experiences and emotions for quite some time because that's what a mama does, right? 

I'd love to hear from you if you can relate. West Point mom or not, you might empathize. Thanks for listening...

West Point graduation touchstone moments

This is not a glamour shot. 

Pictured here are the freckle face, orange hair ginger, the Hubs,
the Officer just after we pinned the bars on his uniform,
the weepy proud mama, the grandpa and the ministry-bound middle brother.

We are an imperfect bunch.
But we love each other.
And when not focusing on our own personal comforts which is often difficult for most people including myself and those in my clan.
We reach deep down inside and demonstrate support and care.

And this is what my oldest OS deserved on HIS day.
Not telling Nate how exhausted and hot we were (because I do not believe there are sufficient words and he was surely more tired and sweaty!) 
But rather standing next to our Soldier physically, emotionally and spiritually.
As he graduated from the United States Military Academy.
It was a privilege and an honor.
And if someone would have handed me a mirror,
And lipstick,
And some haircare products,
Or offered me a shower to freshen up,
You know, because an important picture was going to be taken,

I would have said no

And continued to hold my son's hand.

It was only after looking at this picture the following day
that I realized that we were all touching. I love that. 

Unconcerned about appearance,
Shedding tears of pride. 
No other place could I have been
Then next to Nate and surrounded by those who love him most. 
Making memories for a lifetime,
This perspiring, imperfect collection of people
Honored a man of integrity
Whom the Lord gave me for such a time as this
And I am richly, profoundly blessed to call him (and all those in this picture) my own. 

Senior table

Creating unconditional love on cardboard

Making Aaron's senior table was truly an act of love. 

Wednesday night, on the eve of high school graduation, moms and dads filled the gymnasium for a shining gesture. With Herculean effort, we decorated senior tables for our offspring. I know because I was among those parents attempting, in some impossible way to contain love on a 30"x30" plot of space. Talk about pressure!

For weeks I had been staging Aaron's table at home. With two children graduating nine days apart in two different states, I had to start early to make sure it was good. In 2008, Nate had a senior table and Aaron deserved for me to put in the same painstaking effort. In my practice sessions, sometimes I'd tape a picture in one place on the cardboard and then move it elsewhere. A few of my table prototypes were created actually in Aaron's room so he would see them when he came home from school. I'd anticipate the moment when Aaron would enter. Yes, I said to myself, hopefully he will not collapse upon seeing its beauty. Truly, I speculated, he will notice how I angled the ukelele JUST so, put the candle HERE, the coffee cup THERE and the tiny bell from Ukraine on THIS spot.

Middle OS senior pic taken by Aunt Lorri

And when Aaron would walk into his room, my ear would keen for the slightest gasp of wonder. If a second passed without a response, I couldn't stand it any longer. "Aaron, what do you think?" I'd beckon so desperate for his approval. Without exception Aaron showed his gratefulness. Whew.


Other times, you know, just in case a friend stopped by and you never know when that just might happen, I would do the whole set-up in the dining room and dare I admit, I'd walk down the stairs several times just to get a glimpse afresh. As the mama of three OS, for me with no other girl in my household, it was the equivalent of seeing a daughter in a wedding gown or a prom dress. Don't laugh. I felt joy.

The Hubs found other versions of the table in his office or in the hallway. Some family members were even blessed with text messages and pictures from me marking a new table development concept. A few were kind enough to acknowledge receipt of those pictures. Oh thank you if you indulged me!

I had been crying throughout the day
but vanity aside, I had to get a picture of me by Aaron's table. 

I sewed a swatch of remnant material from his books pants fabric. Aaron approved. Then I stitched a coordinating rectangle of some extra fabric a friend had given me. Aaron liked the manly colors. He assisted my efforts by writing in gold a poem from his favorite author William Cowper and I trimmed the sides of the cardboard with pages from an old family Bible. It wasn't perfect but the time had come for the official unveiling. Insecure feelings never replaced the warm and wonderful sentiment I felt inside.

A sample of one of the many other tables on display.

But I bet I wasn't the only one who spent copious amounts of time on the child's senior table project; based on what I saw, our collective souls were poured onto those hallowed folding tables. We did not create altars for our children, I guess we just wanted our son or daughter and all who passed by to smile and either say, "Wow, I am loved" or "Awesome, someone thinks very highly of that kid."

Another mom breathing
words of kindness upon my oliveshoot.

If you think this post is stupid, then we probably couldn't be friends. If you've read this far, you understand. Let's have lunch. 


Thursday arrived and tears flowed as we all beamed. I gazed and cried stopping by many of Aaron's friend's tables. I noted with appreciation that none of these tables felt ostentatious as if they were trying to steal attention from someone else. 

Oh how I adored seeing a classmate write
encouraging words to my boy, such loving
messages filled these pages.

The body of Christ enveloped the mood. With our individual 7 1/2 square feet carefully crafted, the seniors marked the passage of time. I paused with gratitude over the families represented and prayed for their children's future. 

After graduation, Aaron spent a
long time reading the messages.
What a thankful moment for all of us. 

Have you ever done something like for a loved one? What special things would hallmark your "table"? I'd so enjoy hearing about it. May you all have opportunity for such a celebration of life. 

We are West Point Moms!

I could barely eek out a few words before bursting into tears. We had never met and yet there was a bond between us as soon as she answered the phone. We were West Point moms at opposite ends of the 48 month adventure. The warmth in her voice removed the little resolve I had left to keep it all together. I attempted to ask some factual questions but really all I wanted to know is that she survived. Since she was still able to speak in full sentences, I perceived that as a good sign. 

The Hubs made this graph when 
Nate was a new cadet, it's so true!

Don't we all want to find kindred spirits, people who can help us along life's way? I sure do. In many aspects, the desire to be encouraged and embraced is central to feeling a sense of community. Connection is what I've found in being a West Point Mom.

WP moms come in all sizes!

Perhaps mothers with children in traditional universities have a bond. As my middle OS begins college at Moody Bible Institute this fall, it would be nice to meet mothers who have children pursuing ministry. Yet I must be honest, my expectations will be high because West Point moms spoil each other with kindness.

Here are just a few examples of what it's like to be a WP mom.  

This is the cutest Girl Scout delivery 
boy in El Salvador!

Recently my oldest OS went to see his bonita in El Salvador. She likes Girl Scout cookies and Nate couldn't possibly go there empty-handed! He had bought her tea and nail polish which truly threatened his "Man Card" but Girl Scout cookies was another must-have item. Well, one quick message on facebook and a WP mom, whom Nate has never met, shipped EIGHT, yes EIGHT boxes to my boy, free of charge.

Girl Scout cookies make girlfriends happy!

Nate was hoping to avoid parking fees at the airport while on vacation in El Sal. A simple message to my WP moms and a grandma of a cadet offered Nate to park his car at her home for the week.

A mom asks for prayers and a swarm of WP moms respond with concern. A mom posts a picture of her cadet on the page and we gush as if it were our own bairn.

There is no paucity of concern or compassion. The Scripture passage found in Romans 12:15 is fitting. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." Though most of us haven't met in person, we understand each other. We don't all share the same political convictions or spiritual beliefs, some don't even use soap nuts(!) but nonetheless we are a sisterhood. We realize our cadets will most likely travel in harm's way. We get it in ways most don't. Current events and conflicts in foreign lands impact our children's future. As our cadets return from Spring Break, many weepy moms lamented about missing their cadet. We reassured them and gathered them into the fold cuz that's how WP mamas roll. 

This is a common WP mom facial
expression. It's hard to let go!

Now I'm at the other end of this experience. Nate graduates the end of May. I don't want it to end but I know my cadet is ready to see where life leads him.  The current trajectory is Georgia, Colorado and then possibly Kuwait.  
  

Even if you're not a WP mom, you will enjoy this video one of my friends created. One day soon your child will embark on new journeys and it will tug on your heart even if your baby isn't heading to the United States Military Academy. I've watched this video many times and I can't get through it without shedding a tear. A picture of Nate and I at Ring Weekend is found on 00.53 of this link. What a privilege to be part of this long grey line!

Soap Nuts Winner!

Judging from the responses left on my facebook and blog post, many of you have joined the chorus saying, "I'm sick and tired of being pococurante about laundry!" 

...um, you do know what pococurante means, don't  you?  (looks disdainfully through bespectacled lens)   

Soap nuts amid my homemade fabric bowls

Prior to yesterday, I didn't know what it meant to be pococurante but this mama of three oliveshoots has been pococurante about laundry for far too long, my friends! Thanks to dictionary.com, now I don't have to say I've been careless and indifferent about cleaning clothes. Thank you dictionary.com! Each day a fancy new word arrives in my email box and yesterday's word was pococurante. You should have seen the OS's faces as I was extolling the virtues of soap nuts and then I nonchalantly told them last night that I was no longer pococunrate about dirty clothes. They were like, "wha???"

my trusted source for fancy words

Now that you are thoroughly impressed with my vocabularic (my new invented word) acumen, let me announce the winner of the DELUXE Soap Nuts Combination Package.

Way to go, Julie!

I'm working on a few more things regarding soap nuts and other items so my hunch is this will not be the last giveaway I offer though it might be the most extravagant. I look forward to hearing from Julie about her experiences with all the NaturOli products she can try. Considering she has been sick as a dog with her current pregnancy, I'm sure you can all join me in being happy that in between bouts of nausea, Julie has something to make her feel better.

This is the Deluxe Soap Nuts Combination
Package offered in the giveaway 

Based on a suggestion from an interested mom, I'm now seriously contemplating having a soap nuts party. People are curious on how to use them and how they work. If people can have Pampered Chef parties (which I think are wonderful!), then perhaps a continuing education course on soap nuts is in order. If you like the idea, let me know. If you are pococurante, I'd want to hear about that also. ;)

In the midst of celebrating the Hubs' 50th birthday and a CRAZY compliment the orange hair, freckle face OS (future blog post) gave me yesterday, I washed my middle OS's linens with soap nuts. The first thing I noticed was how crisp and fluffy Aaron's sheets and pillow cases felt in the dryer. The other thing I noticed was that it took a lot less time for the items to dry. I'm not sure if this is a phenomena based on soap nuts but I'm going to ask the experts and I'll let you know.  

Use code WPMoms for 10% off including most sale items!

How many other blogs out there have used a unique word, talked about laundry AND soap nuts? That's just how we do! Congrats to Julie and I sincerely would appreciate you readers telling me what you think about a soap nuts party even if you couldn't attend. Try to find a way to incorporate that fun word into your weekend conversations!

There's something about a soap nut - Discount and generous give-away!

My friend Becki's first load of laundry with
soap nuts - what a moment!

 So maybe you're like I was and you're curious about this whole soap nuts thing. I'm a soap nuts neophyte but a true believer in this product. For me, if soap nuts were a pop star, they would be Justin Bieber. If soap nuts were a pizza, they would be Chicago style. If soap nuts were an exercise system, they would be Zumba. Yes, I'm smitten by saponin, I cannot lie.

Saponin-based products clean naturally without chemicals or sulfates and I've worked out a great offer with the folks at NaturOli.  Last night I spoke on the phone for over TWO hours with the co-founder of NaturOli and I'm more convinced than ever that soap nuts are fantastic. I'm not a paid spokesperson for NaturOli, just a happy customer that did a little legwork and wanted to see if I could do something special for my readers.

A stinky load of Soldier's clothes this past summer
from my cadet's time at
Fort Benning this summer - PU!

So here's the deal. You can discover the versatility of soap nuts and save money. Experience the many all-natural wonders of soap nuts products and:  

1.  Get a 10% discount on NaturOli using the following code: WPMoms. Enter the coupon code at the bottom of your shopping cart page (you have to scroll down to the bottom). The code WPMoms is not case sensitive and will work store-wide and even apply to many items already on sale. Click here to see all the cool products they offer. Some exclusions on products may apply so if that happens, please understand.

The NaturOli folks also suggested that you join their mailing list. Click here for that so you can keep informed about their products. 
  

This could be yours! I'm jealous!

2. And then there's this...
I'm offering an awesome give-away. Leave a comment on my facebook or on this blog post. On Friday, March 9th, I'll draw a name and have them send you this package. It's a $70 gift (I secretly want to enter my own name but I won't!) 
Here's what one very blessed person will receive:

A DELUXE Soap Nuts Combination Package
...with all full size and/or large soap nuts products!
 
Includes:
- A 16-oz NaturOli "Select" Soap Nuts, USDA certified organic. (With heavy-duty wash bag and 8-page info and instructions.)
- An 8-oz "Extreme 18X" soap nuts liquid concentrate with pump.
- A rich Soap Nuts Shampoo Bar, large size.
- A luxurious, handmade Soap Nuts Cleansing Bar, large size. IMPORTANT NOTE: Currently sold out, alternate large natural soap bar will be substituted.
- A 16-oz "Extreme Hair" Soap Nut Shampoo. (Please specify formula desired.)
- A Soap Nuts Laundry Pre-Treat Stick.
NOTE: Stick dispenser type may vary from shown. Product weight will be equal or more.
- A 4-oz jar of finely ground and sifted, mukorossi Soap Nuts Powder for laundry, housecleaning or personal care.

my laundry life pre-soap nuts = blah

Up until a few weeks ago, when it came to washing clothes, I was just your everyday wife with pink highlights and the mama of three oliveshoots...a West Point cadet, a Renaissance man and an orange hair, freckle face athlete. YAWN! ;) But now my laundry life is nearly thrilling and the possibilities are endless.

Now, here's a freshly washed load of laundry = shazam!

So hey, leave a comment and enter the drawing. What have you got to lose? Help me spread the word about soap nuts and use the 10% discount...code WPMoms. Go soap nuts and thanks NaturOli! 

Love me, love my soap nuts

You have to do something BIG for your 50th birthday.
I chose to begin life with soap nuts. 

It was destiny, destiny I tell you that the box of soap nuts arrived on my 50th birthday. I don't usually air our dirty laundry (horrible pun) but now that it's getting clean, let me brag for a moment about my new cleansing agent.

Do not be afraid, my friends, these are only soap nuts. 

From the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains, several pounds of the dried shells of the sapindus mukorossi trees have found purpose in the suburbs of North Carolina. Oh how I wished I had these nuts when my oldest OS was a lowly plebe just starting at West Point. My olfactory buds have suffered greatly from the mounds of West Point laundry. There have been times when I have nearly driven home from the airport with the windows in my SUV open because Nate smelled really bad. Oddly enough it wasn't due to poor hygiene, it was his clothing. When I informed Nate that he REEKED, he expressed confusion not knowing whether it was the cheap laundry detergent he was using or the frequently used washing machines on post. I'm still in disbelief that he went to see his bonita in El Salvador with that unpleasant odor attached to his clothing. 

The Soldier and his bonita in El Salvador. He's going there for Spring Break.
Clean your clothes well before you leave to go see her, Nate!

But perhaps I have found the solution. My chest swelled with pride when Nate came home recently and I introduced him to soap nuts. While he was a bit skeptical about Mom and one of my latest "things," here's what I told him about the newest addition to the family. 

This is the equivalent of at least eight loads of laundry

• Our clothes are cleaner - Imbedded stains have nearly disappeared. Without any additional spot removers or bleach, the soap nuts are kicking stains'  butts. It's shocking how fresh and bright our clothes and linens have become. 
• Our clothes feel nicer - Dare I admit I now even enjoy folding clothes again? Please don't tell anyone else in the family. The texture of our laundry is more authentic. Ungainly t-shirts hold their heads up higher, towels have absorptive confidence. Who'd have thunk?

Soaking them soap nuts

And here's a really weird thing I've noticed 

• Our clothes even sound better - As someone with sensitive hearing, sounds influence my daily life. The sizzle of popcorn after the kernels have just finished exploding delights but I'm drawn to the brink of insanity by the smacking of lips or the licking of fingers. A very prominent person in my life does the latter so I'm quite familiar with this sound. And while it might sound really strange to most people, I have noticed the laundry sounds different and I never perceived the sound of laundry until my encounter with soap nuts. 

Enjoy this brief "music" clip of my soap nuts. For artistic purposes, I included some almonds in the picture. Do not use almonds in your laundry! ;)

• No residual odors - Have ever washed your face with a wash cloth that smells like it had cleaned an armpit? It has happened too many times to me and I'm sick of it! Especially frustrating is when I know that the towel was freshly cleaned and still throw it out because the smell has lingered. Well friends, that is a now thing of the past. With soap nuts, there is no funky smell. I cannot detect the body part previously scrubbed with any towel. 
• Much less lint - the dryer has about a 10th of its previous lint! I guess that's a good thing, right?

• No odors - aside from the slight vinegar smell of the soap nuts, my nose detects no chemical odors or perfumes.
• Fun to use - I just soak about six soap nuts in a small muslin bag, immerse them in warm water during my washing machine and that's it. After the rinse cycle, I just hang my nuts on the knob on the cabinet until the next time. You can use the soap nuts for about 4-7 times before they are done and then I just toss them in my backyard. They are eco-friendly like that. 

"I'm taking these pants and my mom's soap 
nuts to college!"

• Take up less space, weigh nearly nothing - As we prepare for our middle OS to attend Moody Bible Institute in the fall, Aaron will have his own supply of soap nuts quite possibly with a small monogrammed muslin bag. ;) I might even give them as gifts for his college bound friends. Aaron will surely be the coolest guy pursuing a ministry degree and he will have more room in his dorm. Perhaps he will even wear his homemade bibliophile pajama pants to the laundry room and send the ladies into orbit!

"I think West Point needs soap nuts!" 

Here's some more information if you are interested in learning more about soap nuts. Many times I have purchased products and been disappointed. My experience with soap nuts (click this to see how they work) has exceeded my expectations. Thanks to my Himalayan Mountain treasures, I can now proclaim, "Bring on the stinky Soldier! Send hither the malodorous minister! Come nigh thy athletic ginger, your mother and her soap nuts await you all with open arms."

A friend sent me this link, thought I'd pass it along. 

26-50 things I'm thankful for

To continue with my 50 things I'm thankful for:


26. The hubs gave me a rough draft of a book he's creating of all my blog posts from last year. This sweet man has poured hours preparing it and it is a family treasure.

from Charles

27. For the first time in my life, I got a birthday card from Charles. Charles is the quirky alter ego of my orange hair, freckle face OS. Charles spawned an alter ego in me named Charlene. Charles and Charlene speak their own language and have unique accents. No one else in the family really likes Charles and Charlene but we/they have fun together. Thanks Charles!

28. a birthday card announcement from 
my cadet in French and Spanish

29. For my birthday, I also received a beautiful letter from my oldest OS. And, just like Nate, he forgot to sign it! 
30. Thread - I have new thread. Thread makes things happen. Oh yeah.

bibimbap, I prefer mine without the egg

31. We entertained a Korean exchange student during my birthday weekend and she made us bibimbap and other tasty Korean foods. And I've now eaten bracken...you're welcome. 

bracken, fiddleheads, they are edible

32. My soap nuts arrived. I've been using them for two weeks - love them, seriously!
33. I finished a guest blog post - taa daa!
34. At the end of my birthday night, my middle OS Aaron gave me a video of the past year. I cried through the whole thing but only had one big crying snort, it couldn't be helped. 
35. No snow or ice storms on my birthday. For someone born January 27th in the States, those things usually go hand in hand.

a mama of oliveshoots needs olive fabric.
but now what do I do with it? 

36. My road trip to MaryJo's Cloth Store with friends was joyful. Four women in an SUV talking about everything without gossip is a blessing.
37. I bought some 1 1/2 yards of olive fabric. Any suggestions on what a mama of oliveshoots can do with this? 
38. I have three pounds of dried black turtle beans. They are exquisite.

= yum

39. My birthday cake from Blue Moon Bakery - simply divine with raspberry frosting, chocolate mousse filling. And it matched my hair. It's good when your hair matches your cake.

gorgeous made from scratch poundcake

40. But before we enjoyed the bakery cake on Saturday with my extended family on Friday night, a wonderful family friend surprised me with a homemade pound cake she made from scratch. 
41. Ike's team won their game! My orange hair, freckle face OS blazed the court on my b-day!
42. My mom does not have cancer. 
43. Balloons.
44. A singing birthday greeting from my cousin's family. Tis a sweet melody hearing four girls who love the Lord leave a message for me.

45. another birthday announcement from my cadet - in Arabic and English! I'm pretty sure his roommate helped him with the Arabic. 

pj pants for a book lover!

46. I made a pair of pajama pants for one of my two bibliophiles. He's going to wear them during Spirit Week. 
47. Jesus who gave me a redemptive life. 

48. Zumba which is giving me a redemptive body (maybe)...
49. Lou Malnati's pizza from my aunt and uncle shipped from Chicago which necessitates blessing #48!

50. And lastly, another birthday greeting from my Soldier. I know this was no small feat for my OS to do, thank you precious son!