3, 2, 1 = the day I wished I was a statistician

Over Christmas break, I asked the middle OS to run to the store to get me some canned tomatoes. By the time Aaron came home, he had accumulated MUCH more than 32 ounces of canned tomatoes. Read on for details...

Not just a pretty face! 

We live close to several grocery stores and therefore I assumed Aaron would perform this task lickety-split. My middle bairn has a good track record as my errand boy. If I may brag a moment, Aaron will be a fine husband one day. He not only puts the toilet seat down after using it, this guy can find common food staples and less traditional food items such as hoisin sauce and kefir in several nationally known grocery chains!


However, this recent grocery trip was taking longer than expected and I wondered to myself, "Where is Aaron? Where did he go? I need my canned tomatoes!"


And that's when the phone rang. 
Aaron: "Hey, Mom."
Me: "Hey...where are you?"
Aaron: "Um, I just got a ticket."
Me: "WHAT? What were YOU doing and where are my canned tomatoes?!!!"


The middle OS proceeded to explain where and how he got a speeding ticket. The simple trip to the grocery store had morphed into a jaunt to the used bookstore which somehow led to a pricey speeding fine.


Upon Aaron's return, the cheerful mood in our otherwise festive home had soured. The Hubs was miffed, Aaron was embarrassed and I was annoyed that I had waited so long for my canned tomatoes.


But it gets better (or worse depending on your perspective)...

"I may be a ginger but I can apparently
read road signs better than my West Point brother!"

We then asked our oldest OS to drop the orange hair, freckle face OS off at basketball practice. He agreed and scuttled his brother into the car. He was gone for no more than 10 minutes-


And that's when the phone rang.
Nate: "Hey."
Me: "Hey...what's up?"

Nate: "I just got a ticket."

Me: "WHAT? What were YOU doing and where is Isaac?!!!"

The oldest OS then proceeded to explain where and how he got an even heftier speeding ticket. The simple trip to school had morphed into a second W-H encounter with law enforcement. Despite the verbal warnings of the younger brother, Nate had overlooked obvious road signs and in the span of less than one hour, two of our three OS had about $600 in associated ticket costs.

Three oliveshoots, two speeding tickets,
one day = let's try to not repeat that, guys!

I've never heard of such a thing! What are the chances of having three oliveshoots who drive (Ike has his learner's permit) and two of them getting speeding tickets on the same day in less than an hour? I'm no statistician but I'd say it's highly unlikely.

The OS are handling these issues responsibly and financially independently. They are reaping the consequences of their actions and although I do not find it amusing that they did something wrong, I do think it's funny in a quirky sort of way. According to my calculations, for the price of two speeding tickets, these two guys could have bought me over 400 cans of canned tomatoes!

We embrace our weirdness!

I'd love to hear about your unusual holiday experiences too. 

PS. Here are a few links of our other unusual grocery store encounters (one involving an innocent assault with salt!) if you're interested. 

Monday

I'm feeling old today. Old and dumb. 

I went to the doctor and got a steroid/lidocaine shot in my knee because of arthritis pain. 

Plus my face looks old and weary. I need to go back to the gym. 

And my poor son has been trying for TWO days to help me install AIM via cell phone conversations and we are having no luck! Praise the Lord, Nate has been patient with me but it has been a VERY frustrating experience with very little progress. 

It's times like this that I feel pretty badly about myself.

So I'll try and concentrate on my morning. After taking the guys to school, I went grocery shopping. This time my experience at the grocery store did not involve projectile salt or on a foot scooter! Thank goodness! While there I had an encounter with the lady at the deli counter which ended much better than it began. I don't seem to have a lot of luck at the deli counter. At the risk of sounding very prejudice, I find that people who work with lunch meat to generally have very lousy attitudes. 

I fearfully approached the deli counter having noticed that its normal hours of operation are 9am-9pm. I was an hour early. The lady looked up and half-heartedly asked me if I needed something. Trepedaciously (ew, big word!), I asked her if she wouldn't mind helping me even though I was an hour early. Her curt reply was, "what do you want?" Allrighty then, I said to myself and cautiously ordered a half pound of ham off the bone.

But something inside of me wasn't content to leave our connection in such a miserable way and so I persisted in engaging her in conversation. It was risky but we pressed on discussing the chilly weather, the terrible economy, etc. 

As I placed another order, this time for a half-pound of provolone cheese, I offered her a word of encouragement. "Even though the economy is bad and it seems like a lot of scary things are happening, let me tell you what our pastor preached on yesterday. Our preacher told us that in spite of all this uncertainty, God is."

Her whole attitude changed and as then I ordered a quarter pound of pancetta. Pancetta for minestrone tonight!  Two semi-thick slices. By the end of our conversation, I had invited her to our church and I asked for her name and she moved her apron to show me. Her name was Mary. She wanted to exchange phone numbers! Although we probably have a lot of differences on a host of issues, I was blessed to leave Mary with a smile on her face. Her entire attitude had changed.

So I need to concentrate on my encounter with Mary and NOT my wrinkles, my pain, my concerns and troubles. I need to keep my eyes on the Lord, He will fail me not. 

Trouble at Trader Joe's

My next post was supposed to be about beds or boxing...

That is until I went to Trader Joe's and accidentally dropped 26.5 ounces of salt on a lady's head.

All I wanted to do was pick up fresh basil and a few other ingredients. I had no intention of hurting anyone, especially in front of my children, that's for sure.

But that's what happened. 

A petite lady in her mid 50's wearing a brownish outfit was bent over looking at the dry active yeast packets. I wanted sea salt. Sea salt is good for you and we were running low. We were in the home stretch of our errand when I reached over to grab the salt. I could have waited for her to finish selecting her active dry yeast packets but I didn't. Suddenly, inexplicably the cylinder of sea salt slipped from my hands and landed right on the corner of the lady's head.

I was dumbstruck and embarrassed beyond mention. My boys were silent. No giggles, no nothing. I started rubbing her head, asking her if she was ok, apologizing, offering to get some ice, apologizing again and feeling horrible. It was 26.5 ounces aka 1 lb. 10.5 ounces of Baleine's Sea Salt that clipped the side of her head. 

Isaac reminded me that it wasn't just 26.5 ounces that landed on her head. If you account for velocity, it was more than that...um, thanks, Ike.

I apologized again, asked if there was anything I could do. She said she would probably be ok. It was awkward and I was clueless what else was there was to do?? Should I give her my phone number? Insurance card? Money? If my car had run into hers, I would easily have known that to do but I have never dropped sea salt on someone's head before. 

But this was 26.5 ounces of sea salt. What's the right thing to do in this case? So I stood there, looking at my two sons, 14 and almost 12 years old and mouthed to them, "What else should I do?", like they would know! We couldn't think of anything and time was passing so slowly, I pitifully went up to the check out and spoke to the cashier. 

I told her of my misfortune and tried not to cry. I asked her if it would be possible for her to help me. "I dropped salt on a lady's head and wanted to know if I paid for it, could you give her some flowers from me when she's in the check-out line?" 

She went to get the manager and I had to tell her what I did. I've never felt more guilt-laden at a grocery store in my life! I felt like a really bad person as I tried to discern the manager's facial expressions. Was she mad at me? Did she think I was a horrible person? I described the woman and the manager took the bouquet and offered to locate the lady. She might have also wanted to write an "accident report." Ugh!

The cashier told me it was going to be ok and said she thought it was nice of me to try and do something. I wiped a few tears away from my eyes. I felt powerless and useless. On the way home, we prayed for the lady. I'm sure she is going to be ok. This was in no way a life-threatening injury but I still feel badly. Like most of us when we come to the grocery store, she left with more than she was planning on getting; however, in this case, it was a lump on the side of her head and a bouquet of sunflowers.

Drats! Have you ever done something regretful like this? How did you handle it?