Another Celebrity Who Secretly Imitates Me

As if it wasn't bad enough, now a presidential candidate's wife is trying to copy me! 

Turns out that Cindy McCain has an orthopedic injury. It would seem I started a new trend. Let me connect the dots for you:

Her name is Cindy. My name is Cindy.

She sprained her wrist. I broke my foot. 

She is a fake blonde. So am I.

She's a Republican; me too. 

Her husband's name is John. My DH's name is Mark. They are both books in the Bible.

Is this a mere coincidence? Definitely not. Can you see where I'm going with this? Is it not astonishingly obvious?? 

If not, enjoy this brief video of me on one of my maiden voyages on my Free Spirit or FS as I affectionately call it! Notice my form, nice. 

Weeeeeeee! 

Tomorrow is hard cast day. I haven't had one of those since the third grade. 

Madonna, Flamingoes and Snails

I wish Madonna would stop trying to imitate me.  Last Tuesday, I broke my left foot. Today I learned that "The Material Girl" sprained her left ankle. Friends, this is not a mere coincidence. She must be reading my blog but really, she is taking her adoration too far. Be happy with the person you are, Mrs. Ritchie and leave me alone. Cha!

I have a new appreciation for flamingos - they rest on one foot. I assume the flamingo pose fairly often these days. Only my leg goes in the opposite direction. Just wanted to clarify. 

and snails. Did you know they get around on one foot? Hmmmm...Viva les escargots! You guys are my hero/es! 

Different Modes of Transportation

Our family is experiencing new forms of transportation we never imagined. A year ago, we were a boring suburban bi-ped, mini-van/car/truck driving family. That has changed within a week. It is a contrast of worlds, with my son away at West Point and us here at home. Life often holds a lot of irony.  

Here are a few examples...

 

On Monday my oldest OS will be traveling by a Blackhawk helicopter to a new training site for Cadet Basic Training. A Blackhawk Helicopter travels up to 221 mph. This is part of the final leg of Beast. I know my boy is going to be excited about having this experience even if it makes his mama nervous, very nervous. 

On the other hand, I'm getting around differently. A non-electric wheelchair can travel about 3.7 mph. How do I know? I googled it. Since Saturday, thanks to a friend, I am traveling regularly by wheelchair when I am downstairs or out of my house. This might not mean much to you but until Saturday I'd been stuck at home. I hadn't been outside since going to the doctor to learn I had a broken foot. On Saturday I traveled to Borders in a wheelchair! FREEDOM!  I was probably as excited to be among the public as Nate will be getting a panoramic view of West Point and its environs. 

Then on Tuesday I will hopefully receive my Rolleraid, which is the BEST Orthopedic Leg Support Scooter around. It will have a basket and a water bottle holder! Wahoo! Who knew that a week ago something like this would seriously make me happy? I intend on being as happy as these two folks pictured in their advertising. Wee! I hope to be whizzing around topping 5 mph in no time at all. 

 

Nathan is sleeping with a rifle by his side. It's not good if he can't find his rifle so he always keeps it close on the field. 

I'm sleeping with my crutches just an arm's length away. It's not good if I don't have my crutches. That's when I resort to hopping, crawling or scooting. 

My oldest OS has thrown a grenade.

My middle OS threw a football and will see the hand specialist on Monday. He might have torn two ligaments on his thumb. 

How bizarre!

Pity Party Gains a New Member!

So far, Denise, Jenn, Nancy, Sharon are coming to the Pity Party! It's never too late to join, we're having so much fun! Woot!

Big news, the Pity Party has a new guest of honor...my middle OS Aaron! I guess he was jealous that I was having a Pity Party, he just had to join the "celebration." His birthday is in about 3 weeks but apparently he couldn't wait to have some attention. Less than a day after my PP was going full swing, Aaron decided he wanted a piece of the action.  

During football practice on Thursday, Aaron got his thumb stuck in a football helmet. I hate that when that happens. The thumb doubled in size and so for the second time in a day, Mark, my super duper DH, took a family member for x-rays. We had just finished eating dinner when Aaron began writhing in pain. 

By going to Urgent Care on Thursday night, we assumed this was going to eliminate the need for Mark to take Aaron to the doctor today. He is behind on work because of all of my problems and interruptions. WRONG! Of course, you guess it.  Mark and Aaron went to the orthopedist this morning. Urgent Care wasn't sure if our middle OS had indeed broken his thumb so for the third time in 24 hours, Mark is carting someone to the doctor. 

On Monday, he will take our OS to the hand specialist to see if he has torn two ligaments on his thumb. We are learning in a very interesting way that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made." 

I have asked my disabled mom to help us out in the meantime. She has a knee brace, an infected toe and a host of other medical issues but praise the Lord, she was willing to come over for the next week and has been scrambling about the house doing whatever she can. We are a motley crew!  

We are currently recruiting new members of our family who are ambulatory. If you'd like to be part of this dynamic team and have two working arms and legs, we'd love to hear from you! No need to even send a resume, if you can walk or hold things, you're in! We won't even check your references! It's just that easy!  

Can you believe it? I guess misery really does love company! In all seriousness, folks, we could use some prayers. This is stressful, depressing, not to mention, painful and I'm needing a godly perspective right now.   

This was me minutes before getting the crummy news about my foot...

 

Pity Party Continues...for 6-8 weeks

Linda Ronstadt wrote a song, "Poor, poor, pitiful me." I like singing Linda Ronstadt songs which is good because it looks like this is going to be my anthem for the next two months. 

 

I woke this morning after a fitful night of sleep. I felt fairly optimistic going into the doctor's office, enough so that I thought about taking a couple silly pictures while on the way there.

My mood quickly changed after the doctor reviewed the x-rays. I have broken the fifth metatarsal bone. CRUD! Repeatedly the doctor told me I could put absolutely no pressure on my foot for 6-8 weeks. This is very problematic, how does that happen?

The biggest disappointment is that I will be going to West Point on crutches to see my son. I was going to drive to NY with my disabled mom and my two OS in two weeks. My husband started a new job and has very limited vacation time. Our plan was to meet him in NY and all go together. Now it looks like I'll be packing a wheelchair for me, and perhaps one for my mom. Thousands of people attend A-Day, nothing is going to make me miss seeing my boy but never, in my wildest imagination, did I think I'd be greeting him in crutches. 

Next week the doctor puts a regular cast on my foot. I never thought a silly turn of the foot would land me in a position like this. 

Poor, poor, pitiful me...

Pity Party and YOU'RE INVITED

Yesterday was the first day of school for my two OS. I picked them up in the carpool line and nearly lost my mind. It was a nightmare. I didn't know where to go so I think I stopped my van in the traffic line. 

Consequently, mommies that were behind me gave me death rays out of their driver's windows. (I thought I was in the middle school parking line but I might have been blocking the elementary school parking line, I'm still confused.) By the time my two guys came out of the building, 17 minutes later I was fit to be tied. They had sweet little smiles on their faces, I did not. It wasn't a great way to greet your kids especially on their first day back to school. 

This morning I told my husband he was going to come with me to pick up the guys because maybe he could explain what I should do. He told me in a kind but firm way that he couldn't because he had work to do. Oh, really???

That's when I decided I'd sprain my ankle. That'll teach him. 

While walking out of the house to get our sons, BY MYSELF, my foot and ankle rolled off my heeled sandals. Excruciating pain began immediately as I frantically hopped to ring the doorbell. Mark ran down the stairs and helped me inside.

I moaned and saw stars which was a problem since it was only 3:30 in the afternoon. So here I sit, unable to put any pressure on my left leg. I'm feeling sorry for myself and my puffed up foot. Misery, agony, despair.

Thusly, you're invited to my pity party. So far my husband, two OS, my sisters and my mom are joining me. We could take random pictures of my foot. You could bring me a present. Be creative! I'm not too picky. It will be fun!

My husband bought me some flowers, is making dinner - grilled lemon chicken, couscous with toasted pine nuts and grilled asparagus. Feel free to share your ideas! I also like shiny, sparkly things. 

According to my google diagnosis, I believe I have sprained my anterior talofibular ligament. I'll see the doctor tomorrow. I think the party will still be going strong though. Hope you can make it! 

Family Portrait, sort of...

A few months ago, I was interviewed for a newspaper article. When the story came to print, I eagerly read it only to discover that the writer stated that I was the mother of two sons. My heart sank. How could he make such a mistake after I implicitly and proudly told him I had three boys??? For Pete's sake, he and I shared a moment, he has three daughters, how could he be so dumb? It took me several weeks to write him because it bothered me so much but I eventually informed him of his error. Even though the journalist apologized, the damage was done. He didn't know how much that hurt me. I am the mother of three sons!!! I'm screaming it from the rooftops!

Even though my oldest OS is far away, he is exactly where the Lord wants him. But that doesn't stop me from involving my OS in family events. It's just that now, well, I've just become quite inventive with incorporating my favorite soldier into gatherings. Said in my best Mr. T impersonation, "I pity the fool who makes that mistake again."

During our family reunion, we enjoyed Sunday Service at the chapel in the mountains. We arrived promptly at 9am for the group pictures. 

When it was time for my mom's brood to get our pictures taken, I didn't want Nathan to be overlooked. It didn't seem right for him to not join us. I had the solution, I grabbed the canvas USMA bag with his name on it and placed "Nathan" on the ground while the paparazzi snapped away.

Oh my, was Aaron thrilled when I asked him to "hold" his brother for the cousins photo! NOT! Thank goodness he's such a good-natured guy who loves his mama. Sorry the picture is so small. Aaron is the tall guy on the left. He's "holding" Nate! How sweet is that!